Fix My Leads

http://media.www.thehornettribune.com/media/storage/paper894/news/2008/03/08/UniversityNews/Higher.Education-3272517.shtml

“More than 2,000 students and supporters of higher education assembled in front of the Alabama State House for the Higher Education Partnership’s annual Higher Education Day rally.”

Supporters of higher education assembled in front of the Alabama State House for the Higher Education Partnership’s annual Higher Education Day rally.

I had to get rid of the number of supporters since it wasn’t specific and the amount did not make the story.

http://media.www.thechanticleeronline.com/media/storage/paper670/news/2008/04/17/News/Jsu-Board.Raises.Tuition.Housing.Prices-3329651.shtml

“On Monday, April 14, the Jacksonville State University Board of Trustees decided, in a unanimous vote on Resolution 515, to increase tuition for the first time in two years. . The fee required when applying to JSU is also increasing from $20 to $30.”

The Jacksonville State University Board of Trustees unanimously voted Monday on Resolution 515 to increase the tuition for the first time in two years.

Undergraduate tuition will shoot up 12.4 percent and graduate courses by 11 percent. The university’s graduate and undergraduate distance learning courses will undergo a $50 per credit hour increase, and the cost of residence housing will shoot up 15 percent.

The lead was too long and gave to day and date in the same sentence when issue in the same week.

Give Me Leads, Or Make Them Better!

http://media.www.guilfordian.com/media/storage/paper281/news/2008/04/04/News/Pelcher.Hamdan.Vormelker.And.Kennedy.Take.Senate.Election-3304945.shtml

“We want Senate to work for you! To accomplish this, Senate needs an Executive Council with experience making change at Guilford.”

This example of a quote lead is poor and lacks quality of information about the topic. It leads me to believe that the upcoming portions of writing will deliver reasons that the Executive Council has not made changes and show the lack of experience in the current Council. I would put a more upfront type of lead here.

http://media.www.sdsucollegian.com/media/storage/paper484/news/2008/04/09/News/Robert.Burns.Bows.Out-3313053.shtml

“He is a passionate man,” said the Students’ Association vice president and junior political science major Eric Hanson. “He cares about his students, and it comes across.”

“That passionate man is Dr. Robert Burns, head of the Political Science and History Department and the dean of the Honors College, who will retire at the end of the academic year.”

SDSU’s front page story about Dr. Robert Burns, gives him a sort of supernatural feeling. It gives me the feeling of a Superhero lead. In addition, this man they build up so much isn’t introduced so smoothly. I would like to introduce him earlier and then list his credentials.

http://media.www.thebakerorange.com/media/storage/paper1028/news/2008/04/11/Entertainment/Reading.Series.Wraps.Up.With.Poetry-3317626.shtml

“The culmination of the Baker reading series took place Tuesday night. About 35 students and faculty members attended.

Instructor of English Marti Mihalyi launched the reading by introducing students and acknowledging presenters unable to attend. The reading consisted of six students, and Mihalyi said she could have included more.”

Overall, I believe this is a below average lead. The number of students and faculty who attended where not important. The story wasn’t made more or less important because 35 students and faculty members attended. It also failed to notify me of what the readings were about and why there was a gathering. Instead, they continued to tell me about students who weren’t able to attend and how it was great to hear what Baker students had to say.

That was an example of what I call ” The Really Not Important Lead.” There was no description or anything detailed being told.

http://media.www.theeagleonline.com/media/paper666/sections/20080410TheScene.html

“Most students are cowed by the immensity of gender-based violence in the East Congo. Their eyes glaze over and their stomachs drop as they sort through the complexity.”

This lead pulls me towards the question of ” well how many is most?” It shows no survey and gives no direct number of students that are “cowed” by the immensity of gender-based violence. It goes along with the “Many (Some) Student” leads that are put out there.

http://media.www.thehilltoponline.com/media/storage/paper590/news/2008/04/11/LifeStyle/The-Fashion.Bomb-3319934.shtml

“All fashion writer Claire Sulmers wanted to do was put together an online portfolio of her fashion clips to keep from hauling around a portfolio to interviews, but she wound up with a lot more than she bargained for.

“I didn’t want to at first,” Sulmers said. “I had heard that some professionals got fired from their jobs for keeping online journals.”

This lead tells me nothing about why she it was more than she bargained for. In fact, I have no idea if it was meant as a good or bad thing until late in the story. I will take the pleasure of naming this lead “Get to the point.” Poor display of tone and meaning are written all over this lead.

Lesson Learned!

Over the duration of my MC202 class I’ve taken in a great deal of knowledge for media writing. It takes a great deal to accurately write for the media. Every detail is important and every aspect will be under the microscope. Credibility seems to be the main factor when it comes to the journalistic style of writing. From sources to accuracy, everything comes into play when accounting for the facts your writing. Nothing can easily be put together or looked over. Punctuation can also damage the credibility of your work. I was taught to focus on every aspect and play close detail to where certain things are placed in a sentence.

If taken correctly, the outcome of the class can help advance the overall writing skills of any individual that takes it. Learning the AP style of writing and seeing how many different versions of writing styles that are out in the public opens up different types of viewpoints from a writing aspect. The quality of work, along with the style of work is important for different environments and locations in the United States. Although I haven’t gotten everything down perfectly, I hope I can continue to improve on this style of writing.

Since January, I have improved in certain areas and struggled in others, but the field of writing still interests me. Learning about the process daily papers or magazines go through has furthered my enthusiasm about becoming a writer. Certainly there has been a lot of resources at my disposal for the media purposes and I intend to continue with what I already know and hopefully grow even more as a writer and student. The class has been a big help in deciding my field of study throughout college.